Southern girl plowing her way through life making the rules up as she goes. Warning: likes to bake, curse, quote movies/literature, is tattooed, married to The Man and mother of two girls. We bring new meaning to the "griswald way of life". Come along for the ride!



Saturday, August 2, 2008

Hostage......Send help and chocolate!

I'm sorry that I've neglected my two readers! hi guys! But The Man is to blame. He has kidnapped me and is holding me hostage. He's making me work like a dog.

We've decided to really kick it up a notch on our back yard. Unfortunately I didn't get many pictures of the process as he hid my camera. Yeah, you seriously read that right. Not only did he hide my camera several times (cause I'm sneaky and on my union approved bathroom breaks, I would find it) he also got tough military type on my lazy arse.

It started this morning, early. Yesterday he rented a tiller. I went about making a lovely (GF=Gluten Free) GF ziti dinner with a beautiful salad and banana GF bread for dessert. All the while waving from the kitchen window while The Man made the children pull weeds. He actually bought them work gloves, how very medievil of him. But after dinner, he handed me a very ugly blue pair and set my butt to work. Luckily it got dark after 15 minutes so I caught a break.

But at 7 a.m. this morning, I got a finger between my two favorite ribs and a terse, "Get moving" from Mr. Motivated. Seems he actually expected me to work. After a quick breakfast, we set out.

I was color coordinated and very cute, cause you should always garden looking your best. But I forgot sunscreen on my face so I'm beet red now. Great! Luck came calling at 11 when Princess and Duchess got invited to a play date. Sweet, I graciously offered to drive them over, (hee hee).

The Man looked at his watch and said "If you're not back here by noon, you better find someone else to buy your shoes" Oh crap, he was serious about this whole helping thing. Huh...... So I barely made it but at 11:58 a.m. I pulled back in with a big ole gas station fountain Dr. Pepper and a happy smile. That didn't last. In 102 degrees, nether did my drink. Crap........

And when I complained?

This is the look I got......The Man rarely does not give into my charm, but today was definately one of those days. Damn!
Do you know how distracting it is pulling weeds when you look over and see this? Ummm, hi! I'm Hope4Grace, could we grab a coffee, drink or tea together? Yeah, he didn't even look up. Dang his hard working self.......and it doesn't help that he is very good at tuning me out.
OMG, hey how about a freebie? Hello? Hunkie? Sweet Jesus, it's the hat and the arms.....OMG. He looked up with an evil smile too fast for my camera and drooling self to catch. Then pointed back at my pile and weeds. Then he hid the camera again...........Damn.
So once we were mostly weed free. Out came the rented Tiller. This thing was seriously bad arsed. The Man is pretty big but this thing was shaking his self around like he was a light weight sissy boy. Not an easy task at all.

30 minutes after this was taken. He broke it. Yep, you read it right. He broke the rented tiller. Go back up....see the handles.....they are solid metal right? well The Man hit a mud puddle and had to manhandle it out of there. He broke a handle off......

So I was finally sent inside to "clean up briefly" so we could take the tiller back and grab some stupid garden rakes to finish the job by hand.......OMG. Do you see what he did to me......and he was totally watching me so I was trying to be sneaky, cause I found the camera again....... Notice the sweat and the nasty hair and the red face and the cute outfit.......I had one cute black capris too with the sweetest little black sneakers......

So we pulled up to the rental place and The Man disappeared inside. I was told to stay outside and look mean. No problemo. The little sissy boy man came outside and looked at the handle and goes "No way, that is impossible......" Enter me with a pissy rant about how my yard isn't done. He went back inside. The owner comes outside and three other guys come to stand around and look at the Tiller. Yep, they just stood and looked....at The Man.......then at the tiller. I wanted to brag at that point, but I kept my mouth shut.

The owner assured us it wouldn't be charged to us since obviously the tiller was defective cause surely there is NO way someone could break metal and rip a handle off. The Man just smiled. We stopped and bought rakes.....but I got some flowers and stuff too..........sweet. The Man was feeling very generous with my sweaty self.

Then he took me to pick up our girls and go home.........to work some more.

Princess was sunburnt and went to bed, lucky ducky.........I mean poor baby. Duchess spent an hour in the tub and then read her book. Me? I got raking duty......Except......
Then I got to watch The Man bury our drains french style..........Now that it's bedtime.....There is a shower in my future and after looking at these pics again, I'm gonna go scrub that Man's back. He deserves it........Hard slave driver that he is........

I think I have a thing for him when he's all bossy and in control...........Damn.